Damn sleep apena

So i've been going through some Medical issues too. I was Recently diagnosed with Sleep apena .YOU know that Sleep disorder that requires you to sleep with a Cpap machine. Yeah I Legit thought I would be More energized AND Ready to wake up early or at least on time. Well all through the night I am Pulling the damn thing out of my nose Because it is Just irritating. But yeah..im sitting at work in training with a straight sleepy face looking like a straight Bish...sorry..not sorry...shit I just realized I didn't put lotion on my feet..legit forgot I was gonna be around people...lmao..oh well....i don't think they are too crusty..anyway...later

It's on now!

On the daily I have so many stories that I feel like i could share..just been lazy..sometimes we just need to get it out! I have decided yet a- fucking-gin that I have to lose this weight.. Well I have had some success..i will give u a little back story..

I started August 1, 2016. So i was like fuck it imma go full in..broke as hell...i signed up for three months of weight watchers bought a fit bit to make me a little more motivated (it works) and decided no more fries, minimum pizza (fav), oh No Soda and some other changes...and just went full force...switched off that  food like a switch..well the first week I had to go to Richmond for a week..did good..walked as much as i could..didnt eat out as much...ate good breakfast..drank healthy smoothies..was feeling good...when i got home after that week I was so excited to get on the scale to see if i had made any changes..well i got on that damn scale and that joint said negative 14 pounds...14 ma-fuckin pounds down! Oh I was hypeeddd.. i told my mama, grandma, called my bff...was so damn motivated..i went walking that same day! So yay!! I was happy! But let me tell u..that same happiness didn't last too long...now when i first weighed my self..i weighed myself like 4 times before I was like this is real....untill I still couldn't believe it and stood back on that scale the next morning...and yeah it said ....+14 pounds...WT entire F? I mean what just happened...i didn't eat anything crazy..in fact I had been eating like a fucking bird..and not a vulture, a bluebird..smh..yeah allllll my motivation went out the window. I was so hurt like man this sucks...that was the worst day..

But

The next day I kept going..see if u know me..you will know i am a picky eater..not by choice but yeah...i hate it so much! So food has always been my struggle..just trying to figure out what to eat. This is a everyday battle for me.

So update:
It's been a whole month and I rather than what i used to do, work out Extra hard and going in...i tried to change my eating habits to see if i will at least lose something with only making slight changes. I go to my weight watchers meetings weekly and they really do help..just lets you know all women and men have issues with their bodies regardless of your size...i secretly side eye size 3 bishes sometimes but hey maybe they need help too..

So today Sept 6, 2016. I have finally hit 5.2 pounds down..i so happy. Now when i start working out foreal thooooo!!

Bish it's on!!!

*excuse my excessive .... and curse words and grammar and misspelled words*

Weekly goals or nah?

So my friend Shan sends out this weekly tweet to myself and two other Lovelies..shes like a great accountability partner.. This week the question was, what are your goals for the week? In my brain I had a million answers, so I thought. But as I sat trying to put down a great answer, I got nothing.. Damn...why am i struggling with a goal for myself...now, when i saw this tweet i was like OK, I got this, let me respond...so as i typed but then i got stuck...its like i almost doubted myself as soon as i thought of a goal...again.
My initial goal I was I was thinking about was that, I'm gonna be on time all week to work...but i cut that short when i realized that i was already late this morning. Then i was like my goal was to work out in some sort of way(walking, gym, Wii, joining a class) but cut that short because I'm going out of town in the middle of the week and knew that right after work I would be hopping right in bed. Then I just froze. Like why am I blocking my own self. I realized, looking back now, that I do this a lot. Before I can start something  I doubt myself and then low key talk myself out of it. I mean like all the damn time, I Do This! AAAAHHH!!! I have to figure out a way to be my own cheerleader instead of my biggest doubter. So all in all..i guess that's my goal for the week! I will be a cheerleader for myself rather than a doubter! Boom!!!

Bish What?

So today is Feb 10, 2016. Ive managed to still be in this weight loss rut. Thinking again that I need to loose this weight. Iwww am at the heaviest ive ever been in my life. I know that I need to change and im unsure why I cant make myself get up and go to the gym anymore. Im more embarrassed that im still in this position. I sometimes dont know how to get motivated..I have to learn how to motivate myself. I need to do something..

Ive always thought I was fat or pleasantly plump for better terms. I really only notice it when I see full length pictures of myself. Probably why im a selfie queen. I mean I am beautiful as fuck..well my face. Ive heard a couple of times, from close friends and family, that If I JUST lost the weight I wpuld have the total package! Bish what? Bish I am the total package. Well thats what I tell myself anyway. But I guess it's the truth. I guess they just try to help. I mean I need to loose weight. Thats just point blank period!

It starts with me!

Today I start, AGAIN!

Im just gonna leave my thoughts here. Not for likes or views..just a place for me to vent since I dont have that husband or boyfriend yet! Ha!

I still hope I can be in extreme weightloss..imma still submit my . App when it's time..lol..I need some help seriously with this!

Well thats all for today!
LATERS
Muah
MoMo

Easy dinner recipes from The Laughing Cow: Honeydew It Again Salad is a cheese recipe you’ll love! | The Laughing Cow

Easy dinner recipes from The Laughing Cow: Honeydew It Again Salad is a cheese recipe you’ll love! | The Laughing Cow

This month of September has been the worst for me!

As I sit here sipping on the Vanilla Coke and finishing up a bag of chips. I think I finally got an epiphany that some shits gotta change. Man this year didn't go anyway that I thought that it was gonna go. By now I should be at least 50 pounds lighter that what i was. So much for that for sure. I actually gained weight. My heaviest yet. Don't know the exacts because I am afraid to see the numbers on the scale. I need to start all over again. I think I'm okay with that though. I think its time for me to get up off my ass.


This month of September has been the worst for me. As we know i have Hypothyroidism. I had stopped taking my medicine because it wasn't making me feel any better so i thought. Well on the 3rd of Sept I started being real weak no energy.and that went on throughout the weekend. then on Sept 7, 2011. i had the worst feeling i ever had in my life. I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden i became very lightheaded, almost unable to hold my head up. Couldn't stand straight, couldn't walk head hurting, shortness of breath.muscles were stiff. I seriously thought i was gonna have to go to the emergency room but Thank God i work in a company with a free clinic because i was able to see a Dr. as soon as things went down. Someone escorted me down to the clinic because i was unable to walk by myself.  So went to the Dr at the free clinic. Said that he couldn't really notice too much from just the normal test Dr 's do with checking your eyes and reflexes and listening through a stethoscope to hear my heart. So the nurse took me in and did all my blood pressure and blood sugar test. My blood pressure was so high and my blood sugar was very low. On top of me not taking my medicine which i needed to be taking every day and stopped taking for over a month... UGGGGGHHHH! They gave me a Boost nasty drink and told me to lay down that i needed to be escorted home because it was no way i could drive home. I went home and crashed out. I was not feeling well at all. and lets just say its day 15 and i still am not feeling 100%. I think its gonna be with me until i get the medicine in my system and back working properly.


I got to get better. i need help though. I don't know who to seek physical help from. I joined a gym. but i feel lonely and don't feel like I'm getting what needs to be done, done. I bought a Wii, but I don't have the time or money to commit to working out on it. I know just seems like more excuses. I need to be on one of those workout shows so that i can be pushed.


(I wrote this 9/27/2011....never posted it)

Hard Time

For some reason I have been going through a hard time these last couple of weeks. I have been starting and stopping! I have been eating bad then feeling bad. I have been feeling depressed. Not sure y though?


(Dont know when i started this nor y i didnt publish it but now is the time!)