So today is Feb 10, 2016. Ive managed to still be in this weight loss rut. Thinking again that I need to loose this weight. Iwww am at the heaviest ive ever been in my life. I know that I need to change and im unsure why I cant make myself get up and go to the gym anymore. Im more embarrassed that im still in this position. I sometimes dont know how to get motivated..I have to learn how to motivate myself. I need to do something..
Ive always thought I was fat or pleasantly plump for better terms. I really only notice it when I see full length pictures of myself. Probably why im a selfie queen. I mean I am beautiful as fuck..well my face. Ive heard a couple of times, from close friends and family, that If I JUST lost the weight I wpuld have the total package! Bish what? Bish I am the total package. Well thats what I tell myself anyway. But I guess it's the truth. I guess they just try to help. I mean I need to loose weight. Thats just point blank period!
It starts with me!
Today I start, AGAIN!
Im just gonna leave my thoughts here. Not for likes or views..just a place for me to vent since I dont have that husband or boyfriend yet! Ha!
I still hope I can be in extreme weightloss..imma still submit my . App when it's time..lol..I need some help seriously with this!
Well thats all for today!
LATERS
Muah
MoMo
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Monday, July 9, 2012
This month of September has been the worst for me!
As I sit here sipping on the Vanilla Coke and finishing up a bag of chips. I think I finally got an epiphany that some shits gotta change. Man this year didn't go anyway that I thought that it was gonna go. By now I should be at least 50 pounds lighter that what i was. So much for that for sure. I actually gained weight. My heaviest yet. Don't know the exacts because I am afraid to see the numbers on the scale. I need to start all over again. I think I'm okay with that though. I think its time for me to get up off my ass.
This month of September has been the worst for me. As we know i have Hypothyroidism. I had stopped taking my medicine because it wasn't making me feel any better so i thought. Well on the 3rd of Sept I started being real weak no energy.and that went on throughout the weekend. then on Sept 7, 2011. i had the worst feeling i ever had in my life. I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden i became very lightheaded, almost unable to hold my head up. Couldn't stand straight, couldn't walk head hurting, shortness of breath.muscles were stiff. I seriously thought i was gonna have to go to the emergency room but Thank God i work in a company with a free clinic because i was able to see a Dr. as soon as things went down. Someone escorted me down to the clinic because i was unable to walk by myself. So went to the Dr at the free clinic. Said that he couldn't really notice too much from just the normal test Dr 's do with checking your eyes and reflexes and listening through a stethoscope to hear my heart. So the nurse took me in and did all my blood pressure and blood sugar test. My blood pressure was so high and my blood sugar was very low. On top of me not taking my medicine which i needed to be taking every day and stopped taking for over a month... UGGGGGHHHH! They gave me a Boost nasty drink and told me to lay down that i needed to be escorted home because it was no way i could drive home. I went home and crashed out. I was not feeling well at all. and lets just say its day 15 and i still am not feeling 100%. I think its gonna be with me until i get the medicine in my system and back working properly.
I got to get better. i need help though. I don't know who to seek physical help from. I joined a gym. but i feel lonely and don't feel like I'm getting what needs to be done, done. I bought a Wii, but I don't have the time or money to commit to working out on it. I know just seems like more excuses. I need to be on one of those workout shows so that i can be pushed.
(I wrote this 9/27/2011....never posted it)
This month of September has been the worst for me. As we know i have Hypothyroidism. I had stopped taking my medicine because it wasn't making me feel any better so i thought. Well on the 3rd of Sept I started being real weak no energy.and that went on throughout the weekend. then on Sept 7, 2011. i had the worst feeling i ever had in my life. I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden i became very lightheaded, almost unable to hold my head up. Couldn't stand straight, couldn't walk head hurting, shortness of breath.muscles were stiff. I seriously thought i was gonna have to go to the emergency room but Thank God i work in a company with a free clinic because i was able to see a Dr. as soon as things went down. Someone escorted me down to the clinic because i was unable to walk by myself. So went to the Dr at the free clinic. Said that he couldn't really notice too much from just the normal test Dr 's do with checking your eyes and reflexes and listening through a stethoscope to hear my heart. So the nurse took me in and did all my blood pressure and blood sugar test. My blood pressure was so high and my blood sugar was very low. On top of me not taking my medicine which i needed to be taking every day and stopped taking for over a month... UGGGGGHHHH! They gave me a Boost nasty drink and told me to lay down that i needed to be escorted home because it was no way i could drive home. I went home and crashed out. I was not feeling well at all. and lets just say its day 15 and i still am not feeling 100%. I think its gonna be with me until i get the medicine in my system and back working properly.
I got to get better. i need help though. I don't know who to seek physical help from. I joined a gym. but i feel lonely and don't feel like I'm getting what needs to be done, done. I bought a Wii, but I don't have the time or money to commit to working out on it. I know just seems like more excuses. I need to be on one of those workout shows so that i can be pushed.
(I wrote this 9/27/2011....never posted it)
Hard Time
For some reason I have been going through a hard time these last couple of weeks. I have been starting and stopping! I have been eating bad then feeling bad. I have been feeling depressed. Not sure y though?
(Dont know when i started this nor y i didnt publish it but now is the time!)
(Dont know when i started this nor y i didnt publish it but now is the time!)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I just Gave up!
So I really don't have an excuse for stopping my weight loss goal other than giving up and pure laziness. I really have a problem with giving up too easy and motivation. It all started when I stopped going to my spinning class on Thursdays. It just seemed as if something else would continue to come up on those days. So after about three weeks of missing that class I pretty much gave up going to the gym, working out or eating anything that was good for me. I just Gave up! With all that said I have not been to the gym in 3 months. About 63 dollars wasted. Gone right down the drain. I have probably gained like 15 pounds. I haven't even got on the scale to even see. It is just a Hot Ass Mess. Its really no other way to put it. I still yearn to be my perfect size 10 or 12. But they way things are going it seems as if i will never get there again!!
I have been going through a whole lot. Just emotionally, mentally and of course physically. I have been like in a daze. Just depressed about the way life is right now. Seems as if i will never be unstuck. Its very depressing. I try to have fun and be the outgoing person that I used to be. But i just end up back in a corner and very unsociable. I always have the feeling of i just wanna be home. I don't even see my bestie. family, friends. just because i hate being outside or around new people. I just feel uncomfortable all the time. Like people are just judging me already. People always tell me "you shouldn't care what other people say or think about you" but its hard for me. I don't go to shopping like I used to. That's probably because living paycheck to paycheck and it is getting very hard to keep up with my spending habits. My job has turned into a job that I pretty much hate going to everyday. I used to love the job, but people are so not trustworthy its sad. they just try to stab u in the back. Life is crazy!
The constant feeling just to be at home in the bed has left me without the motivation or belief in myself that I will even be able to get another job. I wish i could sometimes just up and move to another state and just start fresh..new people, friends, lifestyle. Just ready to move out! When I first started this blog my ultimate goal was OCT 2011! I could have prob reached that goal if i would have just persevered. But now when I look at October 2011 the only thing that will be done changed is my age. I will be 27 still living at home, paycheck to paycheck, and overweight. Its sad. I just have to do something.
The daily things that I battle with should be enough to motivate me but somehow it just makes me wanna hide. I went to Bush Gardens with my lil sister, shes 24. i was so ready to go. I was just Hot and tired, feet hurting, sweating, hungry, thirsty. I was just ready to go. And the icing on the cake was i tried to get on a ride and the dude literally had to put all his weight on the seat just to fasten the seat belt. I was so embarrassed. this wasn't the Monique that i knew. It was like a little sappy, sluggish, depressed, chick And i had no idea who that person is.
But i know this blog is all over the place. I am on the road of getting back on track. I am trying to be a more positive thinker and person. I am starting to come out of my room and out of the house. Trying to take my medicine, even though that has failed too, so that i wont be sick, tired and out of it. I am trying to make this be the last negative blog that you will read about me. I am trying to keep it as real as i can. If i come to a crossroad again i am gonna at least try to type about it to try and get over it and keep it moving. i know that this is something that i can do. All around. i just need some motivation and help. imma sign off for now. Tomorrow maybe my thoughts will be together and will make better since. Until next time! Muah&Muah!
I have been going through a whole lot. Just emotionally, mentally and of course physically. I have been like in a daze. Just depressed about the way life is right now. Seems as if i will never be unstuck. Its very depressing. I try to have fun and be the outgoing person that I used to be. But i just end up back in a corner and very unsociable. I always have the feeling of i just wanna be home. I don't even see my bestie. family, friends. just because i hate being outside or around new people. I just feel uncomfortable all the time. Like people are just judging me already. People always tell me "you shouldn't care what other people say or think about you" but its hard for me. I don't go to shopping like I used to. That's probably because living paycheck to paycheck and it is getting very hard to keep up with my spending habits. My job has turned into a job that I pretty much hate going to everyday. I used to love the job, but people are so not trustworthy its sad. they just try to stab u in the back. Life is crazy!
The constant feeling just to be at home in the bed has left me without the motivation or belief in myself that I will even be able to get another job. I wish i could sometimes just up and move to another state and just start fresh..new people, friends, lifestyle. Just ready to move out! When I first started this blog my ultimate goal was OCT 2011! I could have prob reached that goal if i would have just persevered. But now when I look at October 2011 the only thing that will be done changed is my age. I will be 27 still living at home, paycheck to paycheck, and overweight. Its sad. I just have to do something.
The daily things that I battle with should be enough to motivate me but somehow it just makes me wanna hide. I went to Bush Gardens with my lil sister, shes 24. i was so ready to go. I was just Hot and tired, feet hurting, sweating, hungry, thirsty. I was just ready to go. And the icing on the cake was i tried to get on a ride and the dude literally had to put all his weight on the seat just to fasten the seat belt. I was so embarrassed. this wasn't the Monique that i knew. It was like a little sappy, sluggish, depressed, chick And i had no idea who that person is.
But i know this blog is all over the place. I am on the road of getting back on track. I am trying to be a more positive thinker and person. I am starting to come out of my room and out of the house. Trying to take my medicine, even though that has failed too, so that i wont be sick, tired and out of it. I am trying to make this be the last negative blog that you will read about me. I am trying to keep it as real as i can. If i come to a crossroad again i am gonna at least try to type about it to try and get over it and keep it moving. i know that this is something that i can do. All around. i just need some motivation and help. imma sign off for now. Tomorrow maybe my thoughts will be together and will make better since. Until next time! Muah&Muah!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Stuck like chuck!
Nothing else to say! Just stuck like chuck on this day! just feel like giving up again!
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